Retrogamer

Retrogamer: The Tragedy of Chocolate

During the Battle of Hoover Dam (Part Deux), ED-E floats behind me while I navigate the ramparts and depths of the dam, exchanging fire with the forces of Caesar’s Legion in their throwback regalia. Arcade follows as well, lugging around a giant bludgeon as effectively as one expects a pacifistic surgeon to do. He often […]

Retrogamer: Killing the Man

Nostalgia is the enemy of contentment. It’s the emotion that rips us from the present—from our lives—and reminds us that life used to be better. Maybe it was high school football; maybe it was that time in Seoul when you met the Italian barista; perhaps the nostalgia is dedicated to when your parents were alive. […]

Retrogamer: Arson Battlecat’s Majestic Sweater-Vest

I don’t want to not learn. I make it an effort to learn all the time and to try new experiences. That doesn’t mean I’m going to go base-jumping, but it does mean that I try foods I think I hate regularly, I read a new book every few days and I play video games that I am bad at until I become not-bad. Small, incremental victories keep my brain as nimble as possible and stave ennui away. Madden is the latest attempt.

Retrogamer: Monster Game

I miss two things. I miss consequence-free diets (a single carrot is not a satisfying snack and I resent the implication that it is) and I miss friends coming over and playing hours of video games.

Retrogamer: An Objective Reality and a Croconaw

There’s, like, ten million versions of Pokémon. It’s sold millions of copies. There are half-a-dozen movies about it, and a television show. The gear is everywhere. I played for ten hours because there had to be something there, some quality. Sometimes three billion smokers are right.